can't turn back time gotta move forward

2008-12-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

crazy ass shit's been happening to me i hate it and i can't control stuff that i wish so bad that i could. me and Zack were supposed to hang today but look what didn't happen. i miss Kacie like a twin she's my best friend. she's been through all my shit and stuck behind me through it all. i'd take a bullet for that chick, so fuck with her and runn buddy because you just met your worst enemy. life sucks rite now. the only thing holding me on is getting to see my grandma's dog max. you know the quote sometimes teddy bears are all you got. well max is all i got once in a blue moon and now that he's getting old idk what i'll do so who evers got the patients and love of reading all the way to this please leave me a mesg i'll be greatly apreciative. peace and love

2008-12-21T12:38:00.001-08:00

haven't been on in awhile. Zack and me are going out finally:] he asked me out last Wednesday it was cool i had a dream about him last night. im texting his phone on my computer and he said he dreamt about me too it was funny:] i love him and im so happy that we are going out again:]]]]

2008-11-29T12:42:00.000-08:00

Today is pretty boring so far probably will be till tomorrow :] my mom has us tomorrow we are going to the movies at sunrise. we are going to nick and norah's. that should be funn:] i want Zack to go with us but he probably wont or mom would say no. i got my braces tightened today so im not a happy camper. i wishh i could get them off but that wont happen soon. i want to get my earr pierced on the top and a second hole but thats outta the question.

Zackery

2008-11-27T09:10:00.000-08:00

do you even think of me? i cant tell anymore. i wish i could but the energy your giving doesn't seem like you do the way you used to. i miss you constantly. think about you all the time. its sad that i think about you all the time and I'm not on your mind at all. i don't know why we aren't the same, we could talk on the phone for hours on end. but now we are on the phone but you don't listen to me and give one word answers anytime i try to start a conversation. what hurts the most is when people ask about us and if we are going out i say no but in my head i scream at the top of my lungs" i wish."
now all you talk about is why I'm not going out with anyone at my school. but what you don't get is none of them are YOU that's why. i can't explain it anymore or stress how much i miss you . i miss us, what happened to watching movies on your bed our hands intertwined and you making me laugh when all the scary parts of the movie come on and i bury my head in your shoulder, that's what i miss and the way you make me laugh like no one else. its crazy all the inside jokes we have and all the flashbacks that i can't get outta my head.

turkey day :)

2008-11-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

ugh we ended up getting a turkey breast. i hate turkey if you didn't know. why can't the meat of the day be :] that tastes so goood lol i love chicken:] i was going to my grandmas but she got sick so we are staying home for thanksgiving. hopefully we at least get go out for black friday if my dad doesn't try to control that too. like he does everything else. dont know what else to say for rite now so i'll be later tonite to tell the rest of my day. dinner was good we had turkey, olives, potatos, hard boiled eggs, eww eggs

last day alone at home:]

2008-11-26T19:44:00.000-08:00

well today sucked. i didn't do anything. yay i don't have to be alone tomorrow. hopefully. dad's off, the daycare is probably closed. so i can be with the boys tomorrow:] uh i texted Kacie today that was fun and we talked. i watched my favorite shows too One on one, Degrassi ;] they are so awesome. can't wait to see nick and Norah's infinite play list this weekend hopefully, that should be fun its rating is a b+ on yahoo so it should be pretty good. i didn't go anywhere for 3 days and it feels like a long time. but if i could choose to go any where i would go to the mall with friends or hang out with Kacie. haven't seen her in ages. i really miss Zackery, his happiness is all that matters though, so if he's happy this way then I'll just have to learn to adjust. it's been a few months since our breakup and i miss him truck loads. it blows as he would say. i really liked him. i CAN honestly say i never liked anyone like i liked him. i felt like i was flying when he was with me and i felt like a jet pack when he looked at me. like i was in the air really high. it was funny and AMAZING the greatest feeling in the world i just wish that he would give me another chance. maybe he will or he won't i guess I'll just have to see :]

pictures

2008-11-25T08:46:00.000-08:00

Gawd. Today sucks so far. i miss Zack like crazy, kacie like she's my twin, i am bored to death. i want to be with both of them badly. it's killing me. i want life to be like it was in kindergarden again where all you have to worry about is what you have in your lunch. those were the good old days, friends weren't back stabbing bioches, parents let you have play dates with the little boy next door and didn't have to worry what was going on.

2008-11-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

well... im not doing anything for thanksgiving so far. yea i know that sucks and it's pretty sad. i hate turkey though so who cares? not me, i think it's a dumb holiday. i just like the time we get off of school:) its great. just what i need a little time to myself :)

2008-11-19T17:16:00.000-08:00

we talked a little. i really miss him. if yu don't know by now im talking about Zackery Gorman. i love him to death. he's my EVERYTHING.. rite now i had a hard time sleeping last night just because we fought.. it sucked. i miss him and i wish i could change it but i can't.

2008-11-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

omg, Zacks not into us anymore. love isn't a word in my vocab anymore. i hate this i hate life now. there's no meaning. if there's not a guy to tell you how much you mean to him what is there? not like friends will do that....
i wish we could just go back to the way we were....
i live him im not going to lie but somehow i wish i didn't as much.. well i gotta fo peace....

2008-11-15T08:11:00.000-08:00

Zack's game was coool we talked and stuff was cool till gabrial came over and asked Zack if he wanted some pot. it pissed me off that he said becca he's my friend he just wanted to see if i wanted any. i said you told him you don't do it rite and he said yea but im begining to wonder what he would have said if i wasn't there, and what happened at the pool party. a girl brought it up that he liked another girl and he was talking to alot at the game. it's making me nervous, but thats probably what i get for not going to his school. even though it's HELLA GHETTO

2008-11-11T08:42:00.000-08:00

what can i say life sucks when your trapped in your room and can't get out of the house it's like prison...
no boys or friends. it is really boring and i can't see Zack today, i was planning on it. and my mom's not picking us up for visitation. because she doesn't wanna go pick up the boys at daycare. it's stupid. other than that, later that morning Zackery called me back an di had to go a few times so i called him back eventually adn it was great. my heart beat faster than ever, more than it ever has, and it felt amazing. i CAN'T wait till next year i'll go to b.v with zackery and it'll be happy ever after. like i always pictured. my dad better not screw this up or i'll be mad. really mad.
OMG MY DAD WON'T LET ME SWITCH IM SO FUCKING PISSED.

2008-11-10T18:29:00.000-08:00

today was sad. Zack wouldn't answer and i miss him lots. it's upsetting but i know he misses me i'll try calling again today and then again tommorow if he doesn't answer i left a message if he doesn't call me back but he answers when i call him im not going to be too happy. this reaalyyy sucks i miss him like peanut butter needs jelly like a spoon and fork. and he misses me too it's great and sad at the same time lol i'll call him in a few. Today was also David's 16th birthday[:
peace love and photo.....

why girls like guys:]

2008-11-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

A few reasons why girls like guys :]
1. they always smell good
2. the way their heads always find the right spot on your shoulder
3. the way their hands always find yours
4. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden you forget your own name
5. how cute they are when they eat
6. the way they look good no matter what they wear
7. because they are always warm, even when it's minus thirty degrees outside
8. they way they fish for complements
9. how cute they are when they try not to show their dimples when it only makes them bigger lol :]
10. the way they offer their jacket when they are freezing because you don't have one
11. the way they smile
12. the way they make you feel when their name comes up on your caller id on your phone
13. the way they kiss u good nite
14. accually anytime they kiss you
15. the way they hold you and make everything seem better when you wanna cry.
16. the way they say i miss you
17. the way you miss them
18. the way they smile you can't help it no matter how bad a day you had to smile back really big :]
19. the way they make you miss them when they are right down the street
20. the way they make you feel in your tummy that feeling you can't make go away.

yes on 8

2008-11-03T18:17:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PgjcgqFYP4
please watch this video and vote yes on 8. protect marrage and don't let them teach this in schools

2008-11-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

well so far im just waiting for tommorrow, so i can see Zack hopefully. My mom's taking us to see a movie, i want to take Zack. my brothers better not sit with us thats all i gotta say, cause we laugh alot and if it starts to get boring we just look over at each other and smile. its so funny. idk how to explain it. everything is just brighter it seems like lol like im walking on clouds. its amazing

Zackery Gorman :]

2008-10-30T19:17:00.001-07:00

i can't help it but i REALLY like Zack. he's everything to me. life just is BETTER when im with him. the sound of his voice makes everything seem ok. like i won't have to worry about ANYTHING. i just can't explain it. i hope whoevers reading this if they are nice enough to read this far, if it has ever happened to them.
even the sound of his heartbeat makes me just. idk it's amazing. i forget just about everything. it's like a drunk person they can't remember what happened to them the night before lol. bad comparason but its all i could think of. i don't drink or smoke and im glad i can say that. i will try my hardest to keep it that way :] this is his school playing football.

it think thats him behind 69

this is his team. or it's the Frosh just like the one above.

i have red braces now to support his team. i love him and i can't stop its CRAZY but i love it no doubt.

2008-10-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

yesterday was ok it could have been better but im not going to complain. it doesn't make anything any better, just worse. Zack never calls me. its annoying waiting for boys, they always expect you to call them, like you don't have anything better to do. Everybody has that kind of relationship somehow, unfortunatly mine is Zack.

We have our "times" im not going to lie. it's crazy but i wouldn't change it for anything right now, it's not what i need but i still want it. idk why.